Name calling, ethnic and racial slurs, threats, bullying, defiance, disruptive behavior, fights, lack of respect, and just plain meanness on the part of some students are stealing precious school time, destroying the learning environment and damaging relationships. I call these behaviors Foozles; those behaviors that attack a person's dignity and integrity and cause and escalate conflict.

Conflict is a natural and inescapable part of life. Violent and nonviolent responses to conflict, on the other hand, are learned. We live in a culture of violence. It's important to address the role that schools play in shaping young people's knowledge of conflict and violence in preparing them for responsible citizenship.

Whether or not students are prepared and confident enough to handle their conflicts nonviolently depends on whether they possess certain skills - the ability to listen, communicate, see the other person's point of view, negotiate, problem solve, and compromise. Children would rather "work it out" than "fight it out," if they have the skills to do so.

Thousands of schools have implemented conflict resolution programs in their schools, usually in the form of peer mediation. In this school model, only a small number of students are taught the skills. When students have a conflict they are often urged to resolve it at peer mediation. This is a very limited model and isn't a proactive approach.

Fortunately, many educators are speaking up for the classroom model for several reasons:

• It's a proactive approach. Skills are taught and reinforced daily. When an emergency arises, teachers and students know how to handle the situation before it escalates to violence.
• Teachers know best how to teach skills.
• The classroom setting offers all the students many opportunities to look at conflict - from the interpersonal to international levels,- from different perspectives so that students gain greater understanding of the issues.
• Students learn best within an environment that is emotionally and physically safe. Teachers have the opportunity to build a caring community within their classrooms and help our multicultural students live harmoniously.

Beginning on the interpersonal level, students discover that conflict is natural, and when things go wrong it's normal to feel angry, hurt, and frustrated. They learn to approach conflicts as problems to be solved, to assert their feelings, listen openly to another's perspective, search for options that take into consideration the needs of people, and to take responsibility for their actions.

Learning these life skills helps children feel good about themselves, thus developing a more positive self-image. These skills help children deal with conflict at home, and often act as mediators when their siblings fight.

As Gandhi reminded us, "If we are to reach real peace in the world we shall have to begin with children."